I AM GRATEFUL...For 2009

Squeezing one last blog in as 2009 comes to a close. In this final entry for the year, I would like to make a list of the things that I am grateful for and love from 2009. Everything from favorite music to appreication for humanity and anything in between. In no particular order, except for number one...

1) FAITH
Faith has been THE BEST thing to enter my life. It has allowed me to find purpose in my own existence and has brought me more happiness than ever before. I can love more because of the love that God has given me. His Grace and Beauty has pulled me closer to Him and closer to the rest of His children. The bond between me and the wonderful people that have entered my life has been made stronger. Faith has allowed me to view life with a different eye. I have put my life in God's great hands and look forward to the many amazing things that He will bring into my life. I know that the best is yet to come. I will forever be grateful and loving for this!

2) MUSIC
Music plays such an important role in my life. It expresses what I am too weak or afraid to express. It can change my mood and bring positivity. It can make me forget about the stresses of the day. Some artists and albums that I have come to love from 2009:

* Jason Mraz, "We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things"
Technically, this album was from 2008 but my love for it grew in 2009. It is such a happy album! his feel good "happy little hippie song" can make a happy little hippie out of anyone! Every song on the album makes me want to get up and dance and leave all the stresses behind. jason's outlook on life is inspiring. I have had a blast adopting his ways of being love and expressing gratitude.

* Phil Wickham
I can't give enough praise to this incredibly gifted musician. Beautiful. Amazing. Poetic. Uplifting. Inspiring. His music and lyrics have made me fall even more in love with Jesus Christ. He has been given the gift to bring praise and glory to the Lord. Phil's song "Safe" has been a saving grace to me these past few months. It can pull me out of any troubles that I may be feeling and reminds me that I will always be safe and never alone. I will forever be grateful for his music.
There are so many more artists and songs I love from the year but fail to think of at this moment. So I will just give them props!

3) Humanity
I am more grateful than ever for the people that are in my life. Faith has helped me grow so much closer to friends and family. I have also met some absolutely beautiful people this year...people that may have helped change my life even if they may never know it. I love seeing the good that can come out of our society and the good that faith can bring to one's heart.

4) Experience
I had the most wonderful opportunity to give back to my community this year. A good friend and I were able to provide stockings for Aid For Friends this holiday season. It was so great to share the experience with someone who has the same passion as me to give to others. The rewarding feeling of selflessness and love was unforgettable. We also received a beautiful gift from God that night after we had dropped the stockings off. We were the witnesses to a herd of deer not too far from us. We watched from the side of the road as the deer peacefully stared back in wonderment. it was amazing and a sight to cherish.

There is so much more that I am grateful for from this past year. It would be impossible for me to remember everything. So I will end on this note...I am grateful for all the goods and bads, all the ups and downs, all the toss and turns that 2009 brought. I pray that it only continues to go up from here. Goodbye 2009!

Until next year...
Tonia <3

86,400 Seconds To Change

Hello December! I am making TIME to write all that has been on my mind. Here we go...

Wake up. Hit the shower. Rush to work. Meet deadlines. Provide customer service. Return home. Eat dinner. Bed. Start over.

We live in such a fast-paced society surrounded by the ever-so-popular phrase, "I don't have time." The truth is, time is all we have. It is not like money. We can't earn more of it. We can't spend some and get change back. We can't take a prized possession into the local pawn shop in exchange for a few extra minutes, hours, or days. Time is not like a cell phone plan. The minutes that we don't efficiently use in one day can't rollover to the next day. The only thing to do is spend our time wisely and cherish every second of it, literally.

There are 86,400 seconds granted to us in a single day. Somewhere between the first second and the 86,400th second we must love, appreciate, and breathe. If you want to make a change, you must start with now...this second. Don't waste a day to addictions or bad habits that may have come to define us. We can't afford to steal time away from love, knowledge, or compassion. We can, however, afford to steal time from hate, destruction, and arrogance. Accomplish what you want to accomplish and leave behind the failures of time gone by.

When you wake, take time to say "Good Morning" to the loved one that wakes up beside you. Take time to sit down to a real breakfast with family. Take time as you drive to work to look around and appreciate the beauty that surrounds you. Notice where you can make a difference in your community. Take time to say "hello" to that familiar face, or even that unfamiliar face. You just may make their day. Take time to be sincere and compassionate. Take time to share love and express gratitude. Take time to go on a date with knowledge and faith. Schedule some time to change the world one small step at a time. The time is NOW. Don't waste a moment of it.

What are you "not having enough time" for? Where can you afford to donate some of your time?

With love and plenty of time!

Obsession for Possession

On October 17, Cafe Gratitude asked, "If money were no object, what would you be doing right now?" I have had time to think and here is what my mind managed to muster up:

Why is it that we live so much for money and a material existence? Many of us have become so defined by our possessions. Fancy cars. Designer bags. Couture clothing. We enter this world without a stitch of clothing and we leave the world in exactly the same way. The only thing we take with us is what's in our heart. A love for life; an appreciation for experience; compassion for others; a love for God. When we cease to exist, we can't take our Bentleys or our Louis Vuittons with us. The soul is the only company we keep. Live to be defined by your heart and soul, not by physical possessions.

Another thing on my mind, why do we also let our jobs define us and our status? Society has led us to believe that the more salary you bring in, the more successful you are. This is a load of bull. The way I see it, success is the achievement of your own personal goals. Success is acquiring happiness.

"Success in life could be defined as the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals. Success is the ability to fulfill your desires with effortless ease. And yet success, including the creation of wealth, has always been considered to be a process that requires hard work and it is often considered to be at the expense of others. We need a more spiritual approach to success and to affluence which is the abundant flow of all good things to you." --- Deepak Chopra

A doctor may be living in luxury but be alone and miserable with life. A janitor may be just managing to make ends meet but be surrounded by love, warmth, and support. In my eyes, the janitor is far more successful. My point is that jobs don't represent who we are. They merely represent a fraction of what we do. Who we are is reflected by our hearts. The love and appreciation we have for life. The gratitude we express towards others. Our passion for bliss. Don't judge based on occupation. A doctor holds no more cards and no higher ranking than a janitor. God loves all His children equally and does not judge. What makes us think we have the right to do so? Respect and love people for what is in their heart.

It seems I have managed to stray a tad bit from the main question. If money were no object, I would love to travel the world and photograph all the beautiful images waiting to be captured. God has spread His beauty over this vast earth and it is our duty to find and appreciate it. I am obsessed with beauty. I would love to do anything involving self-expression. Music. Art. Dance. Music is my addiction; it is what I turn to when I'm feeling a certain way. I've also had the desire to start a t-shirt company of some sort. How awesome would that be?!?!?! A trendy organic t-shirt that spreads messages of love and appreciation. There is a load of competition out there but it would still be a great adventure. And last, but certainly not least, I have a passion for giving back to society. So anything where I could give back to others would be wonderful. Of course, this can be accomplished with or without money.

This blog has just got me thinking...what am I doing with my own life? I'm headed into a field where my heart is not in it fully. I can't honestly say it is where I want to be 100%. It seems as if I have more to figure out but that's a whole other novel in itself. Until then....later!

Wake Up!

Today's QOTD from Cafe Gratitude challenges you to use your senses. Wake up to life and to the world. Observe all that is going on around you. Envision the world as a grateful one! I leave you with the questions to think about.

What miracle have you fallen asleep to?

What vision are you holding for the world?

Goodnight!

True Love

It was about a month before my most recent birthday that I realized I was truly missing something in my life. It turns out that something was God. Constantly being surrounded by friends that have a real relationship with Him made me realize that is what I desire.

I had lived almost 22 years of a blessed life without ever really acknowledging the greatness of our Heavenly Father. How could I have been so blind? I selfishly accepted all the blessings but never gave Him anything in return. He sacrificed His world and His everything for my existence. He presented challenges and personal battles in order to make me a stronger person. He gave me His love and attention while I ignored Him. He never counted me out while I went against His will. I was never given up on even when I gave up on myself. His love and faith in me never died.

"Since my epiphany, I have been on a wholehearted journey to reach You. It has been amazing! I have enjoyed nothing more than letting You in my heart. All my trust, faith, and love I surrender completely. Each day I see the beauty that surrounds me and I fall even more in love with You. You represent true beauty and grace! This is just the start of an extraordinary journey and I look forward to continuing it with You by my side. I want to live with a good and open heart. I want to understand everything about You so that I can gratefully accept all that You send my way. You are who I live for and strive to please. 'Forever my heart will sing of how great You are.'"

I leave you, my lovely reader, with my favorite performance of a song conveniently titled "True Love." This journey to finding God has led me to stumble upon this very gifted Christian musician by the name of Phil Wickham. I have been hooked for the past couple months! If you are not familiar with him, I sincerely urge you to listen; however, he is not everyone's cup of tea because of the type of music he sings. Just listen with an open heart and mind and be transformed. His passion and emotion in this performance is breathtaking! Oh and a little plug for Phil..."Heaven and Earth" releases on Nov. 17. It is an INCREDIBLE and BEAUTIFUL album!



Okay...you convinced me...I'll leave you with one more video. Here is a painfully gorgeous song titled "Heaven's Song." It is just one of the many amazing songs off his newest album. Enjoy!



Love and Blessings!

A Peaceful Birth

Today I celebrate 22 years of life. Today I also celebrate 22 years of peace. For this 21st of September symbolizes something much greater than my birth, it marks the International Day of Peace. Find out more here: http://www.internationaldayofpeace.org/

We live in a world filled with so much violence, hate, and discrimination. If, as humans, we are supposed to be of the highest intelligence, then why is it all we can think about is war? Is this what God has put us on this Earth to do? Fight and kill in order to prove who is the bigger and better man? Life should not be an ongoing competition. Too many people walk around with egos the size of a million football fields on their shoulders. Is it worth killing our own brothers and sisters for? Enough is enough.

I dare you to let go of your pride, at least for today. Celebrate peace and learn to forgive. Forgive those who have wronged you, for you too have been forgiven. Embrace the world and all who inhabit it. Celebrate this day as we put down our guns and listen to the silence that accompanies it. Who knows, peace may be just what we've been searching for. Incorporate peace into your everyday life. This is my challenge to you.

Peace!

Untitled

I am not an artist...I merely love the feel of a pencil in my hand with a simple, blank piece of white paper in front of me. The sight of a fresh canvas acts as a gateway to expression. Left with a wandering mind, I create what I feel. No rule as to what is right and what is wrong. No guidelines to follow except for the groovy grooves paved by the permanent sulci of my brain. I can make the impossible, possible; the insane, sane; the ordinary, extraordinary. Marrying two colors together, that would otherwise choose to be divorced, until they form a perfect union. The colors speak for themselves, expressing anger, peace, solitude, fear, bliss, and gratitude.

I am not a musician...I merely love expression and storytelling through the melodies that resonate from an instrument. Sitting at the piano, transferring the energy from my fingertips to the ivory keys. Close your eyes and strike a key, a whole new world is awakened. Instruments, whether they be a piano or guitar or drums, sacrifice themselves as punching bags. They allow you to bring your frustration and create something the world has never heard. They stay still as you write, compose, and transcribe until all your harmonious thoughts have been thoroughly engraved into the soul of the instrument and have left it feeling like it has just gone through a round in the boxing ring. Music acts as the creator of our righteous feelings and emotions.

I am not a student...I only strive to expand my own knowledge. Learn the ways of our society and the earth. Expand my mind and broaden my horizon so that I may help pave the path for others. Absorb the stories that the wise are willing to tell so that I may become the storyteller.

I am not a lover, admirer, friend, or hero...I only strive to practice selflessness and gratitude. To be there in the moment that someone needs me; to lend an ear to listen; to lend a mouth with which to speak; to lend a hand to hold. The purpose for my existence is to raise others up. It is my duty to observe and fully appreciate the beauty that surrounds every cell in our bodies. I must find the beauty in the ugly, capture it, decipher it, and acknowledge it. I must value the natural beauty of the trees, rivers, and mountains in order to understand my own presence.

I am not an artist, musician, student, lover, admirer, friend, or hero. I am merely a being, a soul. I exist to learn to appreciate and to understand what has been so generously provided to us on this planet. I can only take advantage of these marvelous opportunities. There is no true title that can be placed on an individual. We are only human. I am only human...I am untitled.

Taken Back To The Basics

We take so many things for granted in this world that we live in. After all....we're only human. After over a month away from my apartment, I return to find that hot water has fled. The transition from the turning of the faucet from the blue "C" to the red "H" is uniform. For once, I see these mere opposites as alikes. Opting to not shower in the icicles which fall from the showerhead, I revert back to the old times. Heating water in a pot so that I may feel some warmth. Carefully concocting a mixture of hot and cold water to find the perfect temperature. Soon enough, it has taken me twice as long to get through a simple shower.

Hot water...I express my gratitude to you. For being there to save me time; for being there to provide me warmth. You have been another small reminder to show appreciation and not take anything for granted.

Grateful For This New Experience

Hello Blog World! I greet you on this exciting day with sincerity and joy! Well, the whole reason for starting this blog is so that I could have a template on which I could answer the intense questions of Cafe Gratitude. I've been following the raw cafe's questions for awhile now and decided it's time to share my gratitude with the blog world, whether 1 person sees it, 768.5 people see it, or a koala sees it.

So, this first blog comes to you as a response, not to Cafe Gratitude but, to the Gratitude Cafe Tour team. Musician, Jason Mraz, and his team ask: What inspires you and what it is you love about your community? And tell us: How does Love express as You in the world?

Here is my response:

Oh, Gratitude Lovers!

You've asked some deep questions that can only be backed up with deep, abstracted answers. Sorry I could not find the short version, so the extended version will have to do for the time being. Enjoy!

Inspiration can take on multiple roles in it's purpose to inspire. Perhaps the most inspiring definition is "divine guidance or influence exerted directly on the mind and soul of humankind." The mind is what really inspires. In life, we can witness a medical miracle, hear an uplifting melody, smell the captivating fragrance of a rose, and "touch" someone emotionally. It is apparent that these all inspire; however, we are just using our God-given senses. We must transmit and decode these experiences to find the hidden divinity of each. The mind has the power to process and pinpoint the inspiration that each of our senses find. It sifts out the anger, sadness, and failure to leave that shimmer of inspiration. The complex mechanisms of the mind and soul are where I derive inspiration from.

Love leaves behind the trials and tribulations of the past. It disregards discrimination of all shapes, sizes, colors, and matter. Love acknowledges the "homeless" man at the local intersection; the stray cat at your garbage can; the lonely yellow leaf amongst the green ones; the single bead of sweat rolling down your cheek with all of the sun's energy stored inside; the bright red core of the watermelon in the garden; and the solidarity provided by the depth of the night sky. Love finds admiration and joy in that wrong chord belting from the piano; the out of tune hum from the violin; the harmonious strum, strum, strum of the guitar; the devastating double fault in a tennis match; the finger's ache after a long day of bouldering; and the off-center eyes in your drawing. How does Love express as me in the world? In just this way. Love loves everything and has no boundaries.

My community is comfortable and familiar. Everywhere a familiar face with a curious soul. Looking around it's easy to tell the climbers from the basketball players, the yogaists from the hip hoppers, and the science majors from the music majors. I love that my community is small and inviting. Hidden between organically paved trails for hiking and rivers exisiting solely to sooth the soul with it's calm streaming water, my community is a great escape from the worries and stress of the city. Everyone willing to help and give back, from the food bank to the local co-op where their small selection of organic items is provided with a great force of love. I love my community!

Thanks for this wonderful first experience, Blog World!
~ T